Why Is This Happening to Me?

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” ~ Psalm 42:11

Life comes with all kinds of twists and turns, joys and sorrows, gains and losses. As we go through life and experience pain and hardships, one of the most common responses is to ask the question, “Why?” Perhaps we cry out to God, or perhaps we seek out medical opinions from doctors, or even turn to friends and/or family to try to answer our question. Now, before going further, I must preface everything I say from this point on with this: there is nothing wrong with asking the question “why” or even crying out to God in the midst of our pain and struggle. In fact, there can be something very cathartic about crying out and letting out the pain and turmoil, expressing it through an outlet of safe and non-destructive emotion.

The unfortunate side of the situation is that there is a significant difference between asking “why” as we cry out and vent our pain and loss, versus asking “why” with the expectation that answering the question will bring some kind of resolution or peace of mind. This other side of the “why” question is troublesome and possibly even dangerous. Allow me to explain.

Asking why (with the intention of finding an answer or explanation) comes with several significant and problematic fallacies. These false and misleading mindsets come with a fair number of false presuppositions that can have significantly negative impact on how we live our lives and the perspective we bring to our choices and expectations.

FALLACY ONE: I ASK WHY, AND I DESERVE AN ANSWER. This fallacy is probably one of the most problematic and troublesome, simply because of how it embodies the human inclination for arrogance and over-inflated egos. The very premise of “I deserve an answer” suggests that God, the universe, the world at large, somehow owes us something, or even answers to us. It boils down to that ever present problem with control; the expectation that we deserve an answer comes from a misunderstanding stemming all the way back from the Garden of Eden in Genesis, and it is the misunderstanding that we are in charge. Allow me to shed a little truth on the matter: we are not in charge of anything, and God and the Universe doesn’t owe us anything. To begin with, it is the epitome of human arrogance to believe that somehow God could even answer our demand for explanation in a manner that we could understand. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with going to God with our questions, and God asks for us to do so. It is problematic when we bring an expectation that our asking somehow forces God to bend to our will and give us an answer. When we bring this mindset, it is a reflection of a rather small and flawed understanding of who God is. This brings us into the second fallacy.

FALLACY TWO: THERE EXISTS AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTION OR AN EXPLANATION TO MY SITUATION THAT WILL SOMEHOW SATISFY AND HEAL MY PAIN. Living in the age of science and discovery, we often bring an expectation that all questions can be answered given enough time, research, and exploration. The unfortunate truth is, sometimes there simply is no explanation or reason. Sometimes things just happen, no matter how unfortunate or painful it is. Sometimes, there is no villain at which we can aim our anger and outrage, and there is no evil and malicious force at which we can pile on blame. The simple truth is, there is no answer or explanation that can take away our pain or make our loss magically go away. Ultimately, when we devote our energy to trying to find an answer or explanation, it is little more than a distraction, a way of avoiding having to deal with the painful process of healing.

Why is this important? Why did I feel compelled to share these thoughts with you? Because, as I look at the world around me, with all the strife and turmoil and pain, I see so many people trying to control a world that is obviously not ours to control. I see too many people experiencing pain, and in the absence of a legitimate villain to blame, people start lashing out at each other and turning people into scapegoats upon which they can pour their bitterness and rage.

So, what is the answer? Stop putting your hope into flawed and broken people, or even thinking that we can find satisfaction in this broken and fallen world. As King David said in Psalm 42, put your hope in God. While God may not give you the answers you seek, we can rest peacefully in the knowledge that God is in charge. While God may not bend the universe according to our expectations, we can take hope in the knowledge that God knows what He is doing, and that His love and mercy is beyond our understanding. So, take hope. Allow God to be God in your life, draw close to Him and seek His presence in all your life, and rest in the truth that God is always there for us, we are never alone in our pain and struggle, and the Creator of the Universe understands even when we do not.