“If clouds are full of water, they pour rain on the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls, there it will lie. Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.” ~ Ecclesiastes 11:3-4
If you're anything like myself, after months of waiting and watching to see what is going to happen with this pandemic, waiting to see if life is going to go back to some semblance of normalcy, and then having to come to terms with accepting that things are forever different, and now wrestling with the question: what now? Life is different now and, speaking for myself, I am tired of waiting for someone else to tell me that it is OK to put the pieces of my life back together. Part of the struggle is that with the constant bombardment of news and information about the dangers and risk involved with this pandemic, trying to live your life is inundated with anxiety and fear of the possible outcomes of every choice you make. But the struggle I have come to see is that, at what point have our lives ever been risk free?
Every decision we make in our lives comes with a certain amount of risk. Everyday decisions that we make involve risk, even if it is a risk that we have learned to accept. For example, anytime we get in a car and drive someplace, there is the chance that you can end up in a car accident which comes with injury, property damage, financial loss, and could potentially even result in death. Yet, we accept that risk as part of our lives every day that we travel anywhere or get into a vehicle, and that risk has become so commonplace to us that we oftentimes don't even think about it. Everything in life comes with a certain amount of risk. Asking that girl out on a date comes with the potential risk of being hurt from rejection. Even entering a conversation with somebody comes with the risk of that conversation resulting in a disagreement, having your views challenged or questioned, or even having your world view completely shattered.
Life comes with all kinds of risk, and it can come in a multitude of forms. We experience pain and discomfort from loss, change, and growth. As we grow up and realize that the world is not as simple as we once believed, we mourn that loss. We experience discomfort and pain as we live our lives and realize that those plans may not work out like we wanted. As people come and go from our lives, either with the ebb and flow of life, or even with the inevitable death that befalls everyone, we experience the pain of loss and the discomfort of rearranging our lives after everything has changed. But it all comes down to this: there is no such thing as a life free from risk.
Life is a constant balancing of risk and rewards. We accept the risks involved with traveling in a vehicle, because we believe that the potential rewards of fast travel out-weighs the potential dangers. We accept the risks involved with opening ourselves up to relationships and the possible pain that comes with such vulnerability, because the pain of isolation and loneliness out-weighs those risks. We are constantly weighing those risks versus rewards in our lives with every decision we make.
But, recently, it seems like the world has become so obsessed with the potential risks of this pandemic that everything is put on hold until a risk-free, guaranteed solution can be found. But it simply doesn’t exist. In the medical industry, especially with this pandemic, we have seen the flexibility that is required in our perceptions. Someone makes a statement and comes to a possible conclusion/judgment based on the current research and data, and in a week makes a completely contradictory conclusion/judgment because the data and research has revealed new information. Does that mean that the previous statement was wrong? It is wrong according to the current knowledge, but hindsight is always 20-20. What would the alternative be? If nothing is said until research comes to a conclusive point, then we may never have any information at all, because research is a constant and ongoing process.
In Ecclesiastes 11, the teacher/author (generally accepted to be Solomon, though it is never explicitly stated from the text) mentions this struggle. As the teacher writes about the meaning of life, he mentions a significant number of the risks and mistakes that can be made, many of which he has made in his own life. But, as the teacher begins to move this grand lecture on life towards its conclusion, he mentions yet another danger: crippling fear that can stop you from even trying. In verse 4, he says, “Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap (NRSV).” To put it another way from a different translation: “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest (NLT).”
In Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that a perfect, risk-free life does not exist, but we still must learn to live our lives. Risks are a part of living, and the only way to avoid risks is to avoid living. There is no such thing as a risk-free guarantee, and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell you something.
Ultimately, it is up to you to take stock of your needs, your circumstances, and the potential risks, and then to decide as to how to live your life. I am in no position to make any such decision for anyone else, nor would I have any desire to presume for anyone else what the best possible course of action should be. But I am tired of being told that my life is supposed to be put on hold until we can find a safe resolution. A “safe resolution” can mean so many things to so many different people. I am tired of people pointing at cases of people getting sick as proof that the risk is too great.
Here is the thing. As a chaplain in the medical field, risk comes with what I do. Every time I enter a facility or visit a patient, I accept that there is a risk of me catching something or being exposed to something. But, do the ministry needs of those whom I care for outweigh my need for safety? I have come to find that this question is a bit facetious. While I can be exposed to illness while visiting a patient, I can just as easily be exposed while picking up groceries or other essential items. So, perhaps a more accurate and realistic question is this: Do the ministry needs of those whom I care for outweigh my desire to maintain a delusion of a risk-free life?
One last thought about fear and risk. There are any number of books, articles, speeches, etc., about overcoming fear. I believe in the need to overcome fear because I believe that fear can control you to the point of becoming an idol and usurping God’s place in our lives. There is a flip side to that equation. In our culture, we spend so much time seeking comfort and security, especially among Christians. We want a risk-free, safe life that allows us to comfortably live out our faith hiding in our churches, surrounding ourselves with people who think, believe, and live similar to ourselves, because it allows us to minimize the risk of pain and discomfort we might experience. But, if we eliminate all danger and discomfort from our lives, if we avoid risk, how much room does that leave in our lives for God. If we rule our lives in a way to try to avoid risk and discomfort, this ultimately leaves little room for having faith and trusting in God. After all, if we simply avoid risk, are we placing our faith in God to guide our lives and to strengthen, grow, and encourage us as we live, or are we placing our faith in our ability to manipulate and control the circumstances of our lives?
Everyone must come to their own conclusion as to what is best for them. But, let me caution you against putting your life on hold indefinitely while the world seeks to find some kind of risk-free, guaranteed option. There are some ways in which your life may have been put on-hold which is beyond your control, such as a job closing. But, whatever your circumstances or situation, choosing to stop living your life is a decision that falls exclusively upon your shoulders. So, live your life; make the best of the time you have, of the relationships you have, and the opportunities you are given to experience joy, peace, and growth. Do not allow fear and anxiety blind you to the magnificent gift of your life